On Sunday, I celebrated my very first Mother's Day, which made me think about what kind of mother I want to be. I wasn't the girl who knew that all she ever wanted to be was a mother by the time she was twelve. I mean, I knew I wanted to be a mother eventually, but there were a lot of things I wanted to experience before I became a full-time nurturer. I had also set a goal that I would finish college before Gabe, with his help, and then we would start a family. When I became a Psychology major, things really changed. I started to wonder if I even wanted to have kids. I became all too aware of how much a parents influence can affect a child and their development. I was so worried about what kind of influence I would be on my child's life and scared that I might affect my child negatively. After talking with Gabe and watching a few of my close friends with their children, I started to become more open to the idea again. I reminded myself that I will never be a perfect mother. Everyone has their own parenting style and there isn't just one way to successfully raise a child, which is actually a beautiful thing and helps give the people of the world such vastly different personalities and perspectives. I started to realize what's most important is loving your child and constantly trying to do what is best for them, even when it's difficult. I've been a mother for 10 months to my wonderful little daughter and everyday I fear that I am not being the best mother I can be. I'm constantly trying to better myself to become the best nurturer and teacher that I can be. I am so very thankful for the opportunity that Heavenly Father has given me to be Anniston's mother. She is such an intelligent, gentle, curious, and feisty little girl, who I love to spend everyday with. Motherhood comes with a lot of responsibility, but I can honestly say this; motherhood really is all it's cracked up to be.
I thought I was a pretty good parent until I had a 2 year old and a newborn. Having children causes you to really take a good look at yourself. But I believe that so long as you don't profess perfection, that you apologize, admit fault, love deeply and do your best - whatever that may be in that moment - that you are qualified as a "good parent". We just have to do as Churchill stated "never never never give up". Love is a battlefield and that's especially true with these little people we rock and raise. You are doing remarkably well. You were an example of a nurturer and a mother to me before you ever officially became one. Your children are blessed to call you mom. I am glad you ha a beautiful Mother's Day!
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